Another day
Today is another typical day of living with an alcoholic. He was home from work early due to the rain. The garage is the usual hangout. He starts complaining about everything. I just try & be quiet so I don’t get upset. It is very tiring. I don’t know if someday I will divorce him or if he will get help. His way to cope with the world is in the bottle, then his anger surfaces.
Life is not easy & I truly know that, but I always give it my best shot. There is really so much to be thankful for each day. I try to stop & enjoy a simple forgotten pleasure each day, taking in a sunset or listening to the birds. Helping others or just calling to say hello. Learning something new each day. Living with this atmosphere I feel that I am not reaching my full potential living with the stress.
My children are grown & have grown up with having a father that they can not truly count on or believe in. They do love him but they also feel resentment. Both are actually doing very well with their lives considering all the other things that have happened. My daughter was diagnosed with cancer & had treatment twice. She has been in remission for 3 yrs now. She is going to college to be a medical social worker. My son has lost alot of his friends due to accidents or suicide. He is a workaholic, has a nice girlfriend & very close with his friends. We also know more seriously ill children & adults, some who did not get a chance to grow up. It is great when we run into some old friends & other survivors & they are doing okay!
I think that seeing first hand how precious life is and that we need to make it count is what makes me so sad that people that we love can not change. I have tried to talk to him many times. I have begged him to drink non-alcohol beer. I had him evalutated & he said that he already knew that he was an alcoholic. I was going to have him comitted, but the cost still after insurance was too high per month when I am still paying on a hospital bill after insurance payment. What family can pay out 500 dollars a month for medical? He is full of more excuses than I am. I talked to my minister & he could not help. I went to Alanon & that did not seem to be what I needed either. His family says you can count on them but they just pretend it doesn’t exist. There is another organization that I need to check out that takes into consideration other financial problems. I did not even know what drinking can do a person because I was raised in a family where this type of problem did not even exist. I am very thankful for the loving parents that I had. When will I say enough i enough? top of page