My Name is Bill L.
My name is Bill L. and I am an alcoholic.
I took my first drink at the age of 13 and continued to drink and progress in the disease of alcoholism until I was 42.
I now have a little over 9 1/2 years of sobriety (thanks to the program of A.A. and a loving God in my life today).
I don’t share a lot about my drinking history (war stories) ’cause I’d rather share about my new life, free from alcohol and drugs. I reached my bottom on Nov. 13, 1989.
Alcohol had stopped working for me, I couldn’t get drunk and I couldn’t stay sober.
I had no clue what to do but I knew I had to
have help, God only knows that I had tried to quit long enough on my own and couldn’t.
I left work early that day and went to our family doctor and for the first time in my life admitted to another human being that I was a hopeless alcoholic.
He sent me directly to a local re-hab facility and I spent the next 22 days learning about the disease that had me in it’s grip.
I was required to attend an A.A. meeting every day and it was there that I saw in the eyes, heard in the voices and saw on the faces of the people something I didn’t understand but knew I wanted.
It was a new way of life, living life on life’s terms without alcohol, a totally foreign concept for me.
I just continued to go to meetings after being released from the hospital and hanging out anywhere there were recovering people. I joined a 12 step study and a Big Book study and started learning a lot about myself. Some of the stuff I didn’t want to hear but needed to.
I had to face just who and what I was—ALCOHOLIC Bill—–That is where I worked my 1st Step and surrendered.
That is where I found a sponsor that still pulls my covers and kicks my butt when I need it today, a guy that not only has become my friend but who has helped to save my life by sharing his sobriety with me.
I found unconditional love in the rooms of A.A. Rooms full of people just like me who didn’t judge me.
People who said the would love me until I learned to love myself. People who would help me hang onto my ass when I couldn’t do it alone.
People who came to my rescue at all hours of the day and night when the overwhelming urge to drink took hold of me. All I had to do was let them help me by calling them before I took the first drink.
My life today?
Well, it isn’t great and wonderful and all my problems haven’t gone away, but I don’t drink over them anymore. I’m doing things today that I never dreamed this helpless–hopeless drunk could ever do.
I have a relationship with my wife today that is better than it ever was, sure, rough at times but a lot better than before. I have a relationship with my children today that is to great to be believed.
I actually participate in their lives today because they want me too.
I even coach girls fast-pitch softball for young girls here and a lot of people actually like me now—another new experience for me.
How’d I do it?
Just like all the alcoholics who came before me, following direction and taking suggestion from those who had more experience at staying sober than I did.If you are new to recovery and the program of A.A. give yourself a chance, don’t expect results right away.
Just keep going to meetings without drinking in between them.
You don’t have to be perfect here—you just have to be willing. Keep coming back is a phrase you will hear over and over and it works too. Just don’t drink—even if you think your ass is going to fall off, don’t drink and call another alcoholic.
I wish you all love and peace in recovery,
Bill L.